The exam table paper crinkled beneath me, electric lights buzzed overhead. The doctor clicked on the ultrasound screen and began his search for a heartbeat. My own heart hammered as the walls of my womb came in and out of focus.

The doctor frowned. Silence.

He clicked off the machine, his eyes crinkling. “I’m sorry not to have better news.”

I looked at my husband. Neither of us spoke, but his eyes asked the question. How did I feel? Air seeped out of my chest. We’d been preparing for this since the first ultrasound one week ago. …

Chrissie Dunham

Mother, software developer, convert to Catholicism

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